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Thread: The Love & Struggle of Family

  1. #1
    Senior Member Ghostie's Avatar


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    The Love & Struggle of Family

    Wanted to kick this subsection off with a pretty big topic in many hearts - that of family! The people we can't choose, the people who may support us or not, the people who we may have known the longest in our lives.

    What's your relationship like with your family? What have positive moments been? Has your current family defined, in any way, how you want to develop your own family vision one day? (If you want to have a family at all!) Tell us all about it!

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    Member sydney's Avatar

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    family! family. what is family!

    i'm not overly attached to my birth / given family, honestly. i think, for me, the most liberating moment in my life was realizing i can choose my own family (something i'm still struggling to wrap my brain around, tbh.) but, i'm slowly healing after realizing that power. i don't look back fondly at times with my nuclear or extended family-- but i'll always be grateful for the shelter they provided me at times. that they shaped me, even if it was done in negative ways sometimes. i love who i am, and they played a big role.

    i'm looking forward to moving on with people i made my family

    joy, landlocked, in bodies that don't keep
    dumbstruck with the sweetness of being

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    Senior Member Rei's Avatar

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    My real family kicked me out because of several reasons. They just despise me as a person. I'm a reject, failure, and mistake among other things to them. Though, for a while my dad and I still continued to talk after getting kicked out, he soon, too stopped talking to me all together.

    I just consider my online friends as my family since they care more and are better than my actual family.

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    Senior Member Ghostie's Avatar


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    I'm hearing a big theme, in the ability to choose our own family which is so freeing and (I completely agree!) so healing! I'm so happy you've both discovered power and possibility in that opportunity and have been able to thrive from it! I think it's an incredibly important concept; I just always personally get tripped up on this idea of, "What if I repeat the same mistakes that were made onto me growing up? What if I so shape myself in a different way from the faults that my mom made that I completely miss something big and manage to make my kid hate me - in the opposite direction" And I think, how far did I really fall from the tree?

    Those are little questions I have in the back of my mind when thinking about potential long-term partners and such. Which I think is also distracting! And can take up lots of mental time and effort, preparing for the possibility of something that probably doesn't even exist!

    Though we've had some rocky family times, I absolutely love my current family now, appreciate all the mistakes that have happened, and feel very grateful for their support!

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  5. #5
    Senior Member Rei's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smiles View Post
    I'm hearing a big theme, in the ability to choose our own family which is so freeing and (I completely agree!) so healing! I'm so happy you've both discovered power and possibility in that opportunity and have been able to thrive from it!
    Firstly, thank you for your positivity :3 means a lot~

    Quote Originally Posted by Smiles View Post
    I just always personally get tripped up on this idea of, "What if I repeat the same mistakes that were made onto me growing up? What if I so shape myself in a different way from the faults that my mom made that I completely miss something big and manage to make my kid hate me - in the opposite direction" And I think, how far did I really fall from the tree?
    Easy. Just be yourself. Don't try to not be someone, and don't try to be someone you're not. If you ever have children try to accept them for who they are and not who you want them to be. (only bit of parenting advice I can give, since I am not a parent, but this is in the end what ruined my relations with my family was them rejecting me for not fitting their ideals)

    If you let others be themselves and you be yourself, then you can't go wrong!

    Quote Originally Posted by Smiles View Post
    Those are little questions I have in the back of my mind when thinking about potential long-term partners and such. Which I think is also distracting! And can take up lots of mental time and effort, preparing for the possibility of something that probably doesn't even exist!
    I haven't dated anyone in so long, due to several factors. But here's some advice, be yourself. Don't go out looking for a relationship, let one find you. Because I feel like relationships that form not over the desire, but rather over a bonded friendship lasts longer and will yield better results. Plus, it eliminates the worry about "mental time and effort" as well as "preparing for something that might not exist" (I reworded this to sound less negative, sorry~) since you're not worried about something that may or may not happen, as well as if you're both friends first, you really don't need to think or try hard to know what to do to keep your partner happy or when they would do things for you.

    All in all, I wish you a happy life and I hope you find everything that you're looking for

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